YOUR ONE STOP GUIDE TO ADULT ENTERTAINMENT AND SERVICES

Thursday, 23 March 2023

31 Hottest (Unexpected) Erogenous Zones



When things are heating up, there are a few obvious places you want your partner to hit. But when it comes to erogenous zones—those crazy-sensitive hot spots that can take you from zero to gotta-have-it-right-now—your lips, nipples, and genitals barely scratch the surface. Your body is covered in highly sensitive areas you may never have even thought to explore. "An erogenous zone is anywhere on the body that has a heightened sensitivity and can elicit a sexual response when stimulated," explains Jane Greer, Ph.D., a sex and relationship expert. To take things up a notch in the bedroom, venture into some new erogenous zone territory.


1. The nape of your neck

If you're a neck person, you know it. "The nape and back of your neck have so many nerve endings that a light touch is all that's needed to drive you—and your partner—wild," says Greer. Ask your partner to lightly run the tips of their fingers up and down your neck as you kiss (or do it to them to drop a hint) to hit that concentration of nerves. To heat things up even more, establish a no-kissing-on-the-lips rule and have your partner focus on your neck instead.

2. The pubic mound

Okay, it's not the sexiest-sounding body part, but the area above the pubic bone can be an electrifying spot when stimulated properly. “Your pubic mound is connected to your genitals and sexual response thanks to sensitive nerve endings and glands that emit pheromones [chemicals your body produces that can trigger a sexual response from others], natural body scent, and sweat,” says Shannon Chavez, Psy.D., a psychologist and certified sex therapist in Los Angeles.

To activate it, have your partner start by massaging the area with light pressure, which can work to increase arousal. Lightly massaging the skin between your fingers or having your partner gently suck and pull on the sensitive skin using their mouth will really fire off some tingling sensations, Chavez says.

3. The inner thighs

Before going straight for the main course, have your partner spend some time teasing your inner thighs. The skin here is highly sensitive and packed with nerve endings, which means it's extra responsive to your partner's nibbles, nips, and licks. If you really want to kick it up to the next level, ask your partner to "trace an ice cube up and down [your thighs] and explore that new sensation," suggests Greer.

4. The armpits

When you think about how to foreplay, you probably don't think armpits. But if you can get past a little sweat, hair, and taboo, your armpits can be a surprising erogenous zone. Think about it this way: Your armpits are super sensitive. The same thing that makes them so ticklish can also make this spot a surprising turn-on.

Here's how to explore: Have your partner take the tips of their fingers and gently brush your underarms. First, lightly go up and down before shifting to a brisk, circular motion, paying close attention to what elicits the best response. It’s playful, sure, but also seductive.

5. The crease of the thigh

When it comes to erogenous zones for men, it’s not just all about the obvious. “A great blow job involves more than just the genitals,” says Emma McGowan, certified sex educator and author of Bustle's Sex IDK advice column. “Paying attention to the area around the penis and testicles helps build anticipation and arousal. That little crease where the thigh meets the torso is a great place to work into your oral sex repertoire.”

The same is true for women. The crease of the thigh is a great hot spot to hit during oral sex regardless of gender.

6. The ears

“Although ears are considered to be highly erotic, they are often overlooked, making them an even hotter spot when you want to crank things up in bed,” says Emily Morse, sexologist and host of the Sex With Emily podcast. “The ears are actually very sensitive to touch because there’s a massive number of sensory receptors.”

Kick things off by having your partner lightly trace the C-shaped outline of your ear with their fingertips while you’re kissing. Gentle kissing and nibbling can also set off fireworks. This can be an especially powerful move when done in tandem with some below-the-belt action—it might even help you climax or intensify your orgasm.

7. The stomach

Your lower stomach—between your belly button and your pubic area—is a surprising female arousal trigger. Why? With the right touch, you can actually stimulate the G-spot from the opposite side. Plus, the area just above your pelvis can be a major tease. Stimulating that area with your hands or mouth helps get the blood flowing to the other major erogenous zone lurking just south.

This area is also great for playing a bit with temperature: Have your partner delicately place a hot or cold washcloth on the skin just above your pelvis before oral, or playfully dangle it from above to brush the skin teasingly.

8. The hands

“The hands are extremely sensual. Even a light tight touch can gently produce waves of sensation," says Chavez. She goes so far as to call your hands one of your most important sex organs. "When you suck them, you’re actually having a form of oral sex," she says. "If a partner sucks on a finger and massages it with the tongue, it sends the signal to the reward center of the brain similar to sex."

To explore, have your partner gently kiss the sensitive pads of your finger tips, using their tongue to draw slow circles. If you're into it, try a little light suction.

9. The crook of your arm

“If you’ve ever had the crook of your arm stimulated—the inner portion where the humerus connects the radius/ulna—you’ll likely know how sensitive this area can be,” says Gigi Engle, certified sexologist, Promescent brand adviser, and author of All the F*cking Mistakes: A Guide to Sex, Love, and Life. “The skin there is thin, leading to a more intense feeling.”

Try running your fingers lightly along the inner arm between the wrist and the elbow to start. “If it tickles too much, you can also try massaging this area for a deeper feeling,” says Engle.

10. The bottoms of your feet

Even if you’re not a foot person—or think you’re not a foot person—the right touch might change all that. The feet contain pressure points, which, for some, can spark arousal. The arches of your feet, in particular, are also packed with nerve endings, which means a hell of a lot of sensitivity.

Since some people are ticklish down there, you’ll want to focus on firm, steady strokes over light and tickly motions. Think of it more like a massage, pleasurable in any context, which can also help relaxation—a key for many women to reaching orgasm.

11. In between your toes

Speaking of feet, another erogenous zone that people don’t always think of is in between the toes. “Any area can become an erogenous zone with the right type of touch,” says Rami Najjar, registered psychologist and clinic director of Resilience Psychotherapy. And considering just how thin and delicate the skin between your toes is, it only makes sense that it can be extremely arousing.

To stimulate this hot spot, start with a sensual foot massage focusing on that ultra-sensitive skin between the toes.

12. The inside of your ankle

Since we’re already down by the feet, we might as well cover the other major erogenous zone down there: the inside of the ankle.

Similar to the wrist, Najjar points out that this particular area is definitely one that can induce pleasure when stimulated the right way with light touch. There’s also a seductive element to it, one that might even inspire a desire to kiss and lick it.

13. The labia minora

When we think of the vulva and erogenous zones in that area, our brain tends to go straight to the money spot: the clitoris. While that’s definitely a place to get to know—and trigger many clitoral orgasms—it’s not the only place in that region worth noting. “Also known as the labia minora, the inner lips are erectile tissue,” says Anne Louise Burdett, a certified sex educator and CEO of TOCA, an organic CBD line of intimacy lubricants. “They engorge with blood and become hot, swollen, deeper in color, and very sensitive to the touch when aroused.”

To target the inner lips specifically, “put your fingers in a peace sign and with lots of lube and slide them up and down on the inside of the outer lips and around the inner lips,” says Burdett. This area is highly sensitive even as far as highly sensitive areas go, so don’t stimulate without plenty of lubrication (natural or otherwise).

14. The lips

It may seem a little old-fashioned, but your lips (the ones on your face) will always be one of the hottest erogenous zones for women. “Lips are the most exposed of all erogenous zones, and are packed with a bunch of nerve endings located very close to the surface of the skin," says Morse. "They’ve got 100 times more than our fingertips.” Even the slightest touch to your lips releases a happy rush of feel-good hormones to your brain that can affect your emotions as well as your nether regions, she explains.

“Use your own lips, teeth, and tongue to lick, nibble, and caress your partner's top and bottom lip, experimenting with different amounts of pressure,” says Morse. When you come up for air, trace the outline of your partner’s lips with your thumb while locking eyes with them and then get back to it.

15. The scalp

“Your scalp has thousands of little nerve endings, and if you’ve ever had your hair pulled during sex, you know it’s an erogenous zone,” McGowan says. “Don’t discount the value of some solid hair pulling!”

If hair pulling isn’t your thing, you can still reap the benefits of all those nerve endings in the scalp. If you’re more into stroking your partner’s hair or them stroking yours, there’s still a delicious eroticism that comes with such an act.

16. The perineum

Similar to asses (as in everyone has one), everyone has a perineum too. The perineum is that strip of skin between the anus and the genitals, and is home to the pudendal nerve, the main purpose of which is to carry sensations back and forth through the intricate network of all the other nerves down there. Basically, it’s something worth getting to know.

“It’s perfect for exploring,” says Daniel Saynt, founder of The New Society for Wellness (NSFW), a private members club hosting regular workshops and events safely exploring open love, kink, and sexuality. “Lick it, slap it, bite it, or massage it. Based on your partners’ tolerance, you can explore a lot of powerful sensations by exploring this erotic zone.”

17. The anus

Butt stuff isn't for everyone. But for many people the anus is a serious hot spot. "There are lots of sensitive nerve endings in the anus, so that can be a hot and heavy place for people," says Jenni Skyler, Ph.D., an ASSECT-certified sex therapist at The Intimacy Institute in Colorado.

That said, what feels good for one person may not turn on the next, so play around with it and see what works for you. "For some people, this could just be caressing the outside of the butt cheeks and the rim of the anus," Skyler says. "For some people it's licking, for some people it's very light penetration, and for some people its full penetration." Just remember, if you do dabble in penetration, even a little bit, don’t forget the lube.

18. The butt cheeks

If you’ve explored anal play and found it’s not for you, that doesn’t mean that butt play—as in your actual cheeks—is off limits.

A lot of people find having their butt played with, spanked, massaged, or simply just given a little extra attention really exciting. According to Najjar, that space where the butt meets the thigh is also one hell of an erogenous zone worth experimenting with.

19. The anterior vaginal wall

For the longest time, I thought squirting during sex (also known as female ejaculation) was a myth. It was something that happened only to women who own unicorns and have cupcakes for breakfast. But all that changed the very first time I squirted thanks to stimulation of a particular erogenous zone.

“This fleshy interior front wall of your vagina can be stimulated through light touch or through positions that allow insertables to hit its wall,” Saynt says. “While the way to stimulate varies based on preferred pressure and speed, your partner can help reach this area by creating a hook with two fingers and inserting their hand with palm facing up. Their palm and position allows for stimulation of your clitoris and labia, while they push on your vaginal wall. With the right amount of attention, expect a few fireworks. Towel strongly suggested.”

20. The brain

According to Skyler, the brain is the most central erogenous zone for many people. If our brain is not in the mood—if we're too stressed, tired, whatever—that blocks the rest of the body from being able to act on arousal, she explains. After all, sex is only sexy if you're in the right mindset. "Establishing a genuine connection before getting physical will only help make things hotter in the bedroom," Skyler says.

21. The earlobes

Although we’ve already covered the ear, it’s important to differentiate the difference between the ear and the earlobe. Each part offers a different sensation.

“Like the crook of the arm, the earlobe has thinner skin, meaning it is more sensitive to touch,” says Engle. “Have your partner give you a little nibble on the earlobe and see if you enjoy it. Some people enjoy super-hard biting on the ears and others prefer super-gentle touch. Start with gentle and then work your way to more intense sensations.”

22. The inner knee

“The spot behind your knee may not have gotten much love in the past, but stroke it lightly with your hand—or have your partner do it—and you’ll realize that it’s much more sensitive than you realized,” says McGowan. “If you’re into it, have your partner lick it as well as caress. It’s a whole new spot that’s ripe for exploration.” And is a clear path on up to other tantalizing parts of the body.

23. The A-spot

“Known as the anterior fornix erogenous zone, the A-spot is very close to the cervix and rests just above the bladder, past the G-spot on the same anterior wall of the vagina,” says Burdett. “Stimulating the A-spot during sex will be easiest using fingers or a toy because of its depth and angle, and positions that allow for deeper penetration.”

Burdett suggests rolling onto your stomach and approaching penetration from the back or “lifting one leg up and coming in from the side,” she says. “Deep pulsing rather than fast and hard is usually more pleasurable with this position.” 

24. The lower back

When you ask people about their favorite erogenous zones, the back often comes up. For some it’s the inter-scapular—that space between your shoulder blades that’s impossible to reach on your own. (Perhaps that’s why it’s so hot: It’s unattainable.) For others, it’s the lower back. “Your lower back, just above the crease of your butt, is a supersensitive spot,” says McGowan. “Think about anytime someone has put their hand there as you’re walking together. Hot, right? Well, it’s even hotter when they touch it naked.”

25. The nipples

If you’ve gotten this far down on the list and wondered, Where the hell are the nipples? Don’t worry; they weren’t forgotten. A list of erogenous zones without nipples is like pizza without cheese: It just doesn’t make sense. Although nipple sensitivity differs from person to person, there’s no doubt that when it comes to erogenous zones, they’re high up there on the list.

“Nipples are sensitive on all bodies, some more than others, but worth playing with to find out if it drives your lover or yourself wild,” says Burdett. Some people can even have nipple orgasms without any other type of stimulation. “This erogenous zone can often put people over the top in the very best way,” says Burdett.

Because the nerves can differ, especially during a menstrual cycle or pregnancy, it’s important to communicate with your partner about what feels good and what doesn’t. While some people love to have their nipple pinched and twisted, others are content with just a gentle graze or lick.

26. The breasts

While we already know that nipples are a major erogenous zones, the rest of the breasts shouldn’t be ignored. “The breasts have an intricate network of nerve endings, allowing them to be an area of enhanced sensitivity,” says Jennifer Dhingra, a doctor and sexual health advocate in the U.K. Although we tend to think of breasts as being most made up of fatty tissue, they’re far more complicated than that.

Try light touching, fondling, caressing and massaging.

27. The frenulum

The frenulum is where the shaft of the penis meets the head (glans) of the penis. It’s on the underneath part of the penis and is extremely sensitive—especially for men who have their foreskin intact. It’s visible on people who have been circumcised (those who haven’t been circumcised need to pull back their foreskin to see it). The frenulum is so sensitive that even the slightest touch can all but make the penis owner explode. This is, in no way, an exaggeration. Okay, maybe a slight exaggeration. But very slight.

28. The Achilles tendon

According to Najjar, if you’re looking for erogenous zones that take you away from breasts and genitalia and back down toward the feet, then a spot worth exploring is the Achilles tendon. While it may come across as just a band of tissue that connects the heel to the calf, there’s more to it than that. Similar to the inside of the ankle, when stroked and stimulated in a light and playful way, the experience can become erotic.

29. The V-spot 

“The V-spot is a very important part of sexual discovery for vagina holders,” says Burdett. “This is the gateway to the vaginal canal and the entry point for penetration. The V stands for vaginal vestibule, which is the opening/entrance into the vagina—the area past the labia minora at the base of the vaginal canal.

This area is unsurprisingly packed with nerve endings. To stimulate it, says Burdett, “gently edge your fingers around your vaginal opening. Breathe deep. Move back and forth between the clitoral shaft, labia, and V-spot. Use the length of your finger and then your fingertips to outline your vaginal opening. Where does it feel best? Are you hungering for penetration?” Like a lot of sex-related acts and exploring with erogenous zones, it’s all about experimenting and seeing what feels best.

30. The wrist

While the wrist might seem like an erogenous zone from the Jane Austen era (and it was), all these years later, it still continues to hold its charm. Delicate and fragile, there’s something both romantic and deeply erotic about the wrist. Like similar areas on the body (the ankles, the back of the knee) use light caresses to stimulate this area.

31. The prostate

It may have taken us quite a while to get here, but finally men—straight men—are no longer shrinking in fear at the idea of putting something in their ass. Finally! “The prostate is a gland, roughly the size of a walnut, which produces fluid that contributes to the formation of semen,” says Dhingra. “The prostate is very sensitive, and stimulation of the area can lead to sexual pleasure and arousal. This may be achieved through the insertion of a finger or sex toy into the rectum, and massaging the prostate internally.”

This is also a topic that Saynt takes to heart. “Seriously consider getting into butt stuff with your partner if they have a prostate,” says Saynt. “Orgasms achieved by knowing how to stimulate your prostate and taking the time to explore and train it over time are mind-blowing. From milking to multiple orgasms, the benefits don't end with pleasure. Regularly exploring this region is connected to a reduction in prostate cancer risks.”

Pleasure and lowered prostate cancer risks? I do believe we call that a win-win.

EROTIC MASSAGE GUIDE

If you want to have the most mind-blowing sex ever, perhaps you should give orgasm denial a try. In the end, all the waiting will be worth it! 

orgasm denial - male and female

There are so many myths floating around orgasm denial. Why would you want to be denied what is one of the most pleasurable feelings on the planet? Well, there are some major benefits to it.

Of course, the biggest benefit is that when you do climax, it’s so strong that you’ll never have felt anything quite like it.

However, there are many misinterpretations of the practice and it can be different for men and women. To bust those myths and help you see the truth, let’s dig into orgasm denial 101. [Read: Male sexual fantasies – 16 top dirty desires every guy has in mind]

What is the difference between edging and orgasm denial?

Essentially orgasm denial is when you’re not allowed to orgasm. This is performed in a dominant and submissive relationship where the dominant brings the submissive to the edge of having an orgasm, and then denies the submissive permission to orgasm.

You then might wonder about edging. It’s very similar, but not quite the same. Edging can be done alone, you bring yourself to the very edge of orgasm and then stop until you calm down. Then, you start again.

The main difference between edging and orgasm denial is that orgasm denial is often done with a partner and it’s up to the dominant whether the submissive gets to orgasm or not.

Of course, if you care that much about your partner, you’ll let them come in the end, but the key is the unknown element. [Read: Female fantasies – the top 17 thoughts that arouse almost all women]

You might wonder about the benefits of edging and orgasm denial. Well, they’re pretty impressive.

1. Helps people, especially those with vaginas, to achieve orgasm more easily.

2. Reduces feelings of embarrassment by building body awareness and confidence.

3. Removes the emphasis on penetration for more holistic partnered sex.

Why are so many people into orgasm denial and why can it feel great?

Lots of people enjoy dominant and submissive play. If you think you might like to try it, give it a go! Giving someone control over your pleasure means you don’t have to think about it, and it’s surprisingly freeing.

With orgasm denial, it’s the intense thought of “will they let me come this time?” and the unexpected can make everything extremely heightened. The stop/start of edging included in this means that when you do come, it will be very strong and probably last longer than usual.

Who doesn’t want to feel extreme pleasure? [Read: Your guide to having submissive sex]

Orgasm denial is connected to an exchange of power

Orgasm denial is connected to a power exchange between the couple. For many couples, they choose to practice orgasm denial by allowing one person control over the other. 

The submissive must follow their partner’s rules. 

Of course, everything is spoken and agreed upon before sex and everyone knows the limitations of the dominant’s control. [Read: How to be a dominant – steps to take control and lead in bed]

Think about 50 Shades of Grey and you’re close to the mark. It’s control over one partner by deciding whether or not they deserve their orgasm at that time. 

The person desperate for release has no clue whether or not their partner is going to grant them the chance to enjoy their orgasm at that moment or not, and the anticipation can be totally overwhelming – in a good way. [Read: Why do orgasms feel so good? 21 whys and ways to make it way better

Types of orgasm denial

And you thought this was going to be a walk in the park! Anything involving sex is always layered. Naturally, when it comes to orgasm denial, there are various forms.

You have three types of orgasm denial. It really depends on what arouses you and provides you with the highest level of satisfaction as to which you choose.

1. Complete denial and chastity

Some of you may frown at this option… Why would you want to prevent yourself from orgasming altogether? But before you cross this option out, just listen up first. Complete orgasm denial means there’s no stimulation of the genitals.

People last anywhere between a couple of weeks to a couple of months. But when you start, try it for a couple of days first. Usually, people wear a chastity device which increases the need for sexual intercourse.

This allows one person complete control of the other. If you’re highly dominant or submissive, this may be great for you to try out. [Read: Master-slave relationship – 23 rules, how it works and ideas to play your part]

2. Edging

Think of a glass of water that’s just about to tip over the edge of a table. That’s exactly what edging is. In edging, the submissive is prohibited from having an orgasm. Though, unlike complete denial, the submissive receives genital stimulation through sex.

The submissive is taken to the tipping point of having an orgasm and then the sex stops. This takes perfect timing and control for the dominant.

Sometimes edging is also done while tying the submissive, making the feeling more intense. [Read: What is edging? Find out how to orgasm harder and better than ever]

3. Ruined orgasm

This method actually allows the orgasm to occur and through techniques the dominant ruins the orgasm. So, the dominant stimulates the submissive past the point of no return and then stops all stimulation. Usually, a submissive feels discomfort and the sense of being blocked.

If you want to try it out, you need to test these different methods out. It’s the only way you’ll be able to find the one that best suits you and your partner.

There are no rules when it comes to this, you can like edging or all three—whatever floats your boat. Though, most importantly, you need to communicate to your partner how orgasm denial makes you feel and what you like and do not like.

However, you should always have a safe word for you and your partner to use whenever one of you no longer enjoys the experience. Make sure it’s something completely non-sexual. Like the word tomato or spaghetti. [Read: Everything you need to know about orgasmic meditation]

How to know when to stop your edging process and come

This is a question many people wonder about. How can you tell when it’s time to stop? Otherwise, you could go on for hours!

Well, the truth is there is no set time. You simply have to go with what feels right. Basically, when you can’t take it anymore.

If you’re practicing orgasm denial with a partner, they have total control over when you come. That means they need to read your body language and know when your wall has been reached. [Read: What does an orgasm feel like? The answers-cum-guide to the big O]

The elusive female orgasm & orgasm denial

If you’re a woman, do you regularly orgasm? Be honest. Not every woman does, in fact, most women don’t. 

Many women struggle to orgasm through penetration alone and need a little extra clitoral stimulation to get close. Other women can’t orgasm with a partner but can hit the high notes when they’re on their own.

The problem is that the female orgasm needs the right conditions and it also needs time to build. 

If your mind is somewhere else or you’re just not in the right mood, it’s not going to happen no matter how hard you try. Also, many women need a good period of manual stimulation before they feel an orgasm building. [Read: Orgasm during sex – surprising reasons she’s not having one]

In that case, experimenting with new ways to reach your climax is a good idea. So, why not give female orgasm denial a try and see if it can help you to achieve stronger and more regular orgasms? [Read: Clitoral stimulation – sexy ways to please the clitoris]

Male orgasm denial, should you try it?

This thrill of tantalization is similar to what adrenaline junkies, erotic asphyxiation fetishists, and shoplifters get from doing the things they do.

The thrill of something dangerous, and the gratification of narrowly missing harm. But despite this, male orgasm denial packs more than just cheap thrills.

Male orgasm denial is as straightforward as it sounds. You or your partner stimulates you until the point of orgasm then ceases stimulation moments before you reach the peak.

The action subsequently moves you back to your relaxed arousal state and the process is repeated again as much as you or your partner wants until they finally allow you to blow your load. [Read: 15 ways to make sex better and take sex up a notch]

As such, male orgasm denial allows you to practice control over your orgasms, therefore, prolonging your arousal state. You can use it in role-play scenarios, especially if the man plays the submissive role.

Reaching the brink of orgasm gives off a different sense of pleasure, doing it many times over feels much better. If the denial already feels good, imagine how good the final moment of orgasm will be. [Read: 20 hot sex ideas to blow your lover’s mind]

Be sure to start slow and build up carefully

If this is your first time trying orgasm denial, our suggestion would be to take it nice and slow. 

This isn’t a competition. Plus, it’s new for both of you. You and your partner need to figure out what you both like and dislike, altering the rules as you go. 

The first couple of times may be awkward, but that’s only because you try to figure out what works for you. If you’re the submissive, you need to know how your body works.

Take some time on your own to figure out which masturbation technique suits you the best, if toys help, or if you prefer fingers. You also need to know where the edge is when you’re about to cum.

So, get to know your body and the feeling of just when you’re about to orgasm. [Read: Intense orgasms checklist – moves to guarantee one all the time]

Put in the effort to start controlling your orgasms

This is called orgasm denial for a reason. If you’re submissive, you need to be able to control your orgasms. Your partner helps you get to the point where you’re about to edge, but you’re really the only one who knows when you’re going to orgasm. 

So, when you’re alone and masturbating when you feel yourself about to orgasm, stop. [Read: Sizzling ways to control your orgasms]

In the beginning, you may not be able to control your orgasm which is perfectly normal. It’s very hard to do and you need a lot of discipline and concentration. But your goal, as you continue to practice, is to get to the point where you deny yourself an orgasm two or three times.

Of course, your partner also needs to be able to recognize the signs, especially if they’re going to be the one in control.

Play together and let your partner know when your orgasm is about to hit. Then, they can observe the signs and know when you’re about to climax. [Read: How to push the right buttons to achieve multiple orgasms?]

Learn to communicate in bed for a powerful experience

If you’re not bothered about who’s dominant or the submissive in bed and just want to experience female orgasm denial as a couple, learn to communicate.

Just as you feel a wave of an orgasm building up, let your partner know so they can slow down the penetration or stop moving altogether while you control your breathing and calm yourself down. 

Once the wave of an impending orgasm starts to recede, you can let your partner know so they can continue arousing you or penetrating you. All the way until you feel your next orgasm build up.

Communicate well, and in time, and both of you can learn to delay the orgasm as a couple, and experience a tidal wave of orgasms when you both decide to let go and cum together. [Read: How to experience simultaneous orgasms as a couple and enjoy sex a lot more]

Orgasm denial works best when you deny yourself *or you’re denied* several times

If you’re able to deny yourself an orgasm, it works to your benefit. The longer you hold off, the more likely you’ll have an even stronger and more intense orgasm. See what we mean? A little practice pays off big time.

So, don’t just deny it once. Start off with two times. Then, when you’re comfortable, work up to three or four. You’ll know when you reach the point where you can’t take anymore and at that stage, let it go. Literally.

The force will be extreme and your orgasm will be much deeper as a result of holding back for so much longer. You know what they say, when you want something badly, it’s good to wait so you appreciate it more! [Read: Mutual masturbation – intimate ways to connect without touching]

Basic tips for trying orgasm denial

If you want to try orgasm denial for yourself first, you’ll need a few tips on how to get started. Then, you can involve your partner. Or, if you prefer, you can start the journey together and see where it leads. 

1. The basic edging position

If you’re alone, this is how to practice. Sit on either your bed or a chair, whichever is more comfortable. You’ll want your legs spread open and then you’ll want to masturbate. 

It’s the traditional masturbation position. When you try to deny an orgasm, you want to keep it simple in the beginning. [Read: What is edging? Find out how to orgasm harder & better than ever]

2. Use other parts of your body

You don’t only have to focus on your vagina when edging. Grab your breasts, suck on your fingers, rub your thighs—whatever helps you become aroused, give it a try. Your body is extremely sensitive when aroused, so try different methods out. [Read: Sexy solo moves to try out on yourself]

3. Choose someone you trust as a partner

Orgasm denial is very intimate and needs a lot of patience. 

You don’t want to do this with someone who actually doesn’t care about you and your needs. You want someone who wants to help you and really act like a true dominant. So, make sure you choose a person you trust.

4. Try using sex toys

You can also use sex toys while trying to edge. If you already mastered edging with your fingers, add in a sex toy for some extra pleasure. There’s no actual rule as to how you deny an orgasm, you do what feels good for you. [Read: 15 common types of sex toys all singles and couples must know]

5. Guys, try prostate milking after every session

One of the risks posed by male orgasm denial is prostate fluid build-up which causes bacterial infection.

Men usually purge their old prostate fluid when they ejaculate so it is replenished by a fresh supply. However, orgasm denial stocks up old prostate fluid which poses a health risk.

During the end of each session, reward him by letting him release all that fluid by prostate milking. [Read: 50 kinky ideas for a sexy relationship]

How to talk about trying orgasm denial

If you’re interested in trying orgasm denial, you might be worried about mentioning it to your partner. The thing is, a healthy sex life has to include communication too!

Try starting a conversation about fantasies and slip orgasm denial in there as one of yours. Watch your partner’s body language as you do, and see if they appear interested or intrigued.

If you’ve done your research beforehand, you can answer any questions your partner might have and then you could give it a try!

[Read: Arousing sex fantasies to try in real life]